People always ask what kind of counselor I am. It's a funny question, because there's really only one kind. Whatever the method or technique, in whatever school of thought, all counseling is an attempt to answer the same question:

The thing in question is, of course, being human. Human existence is pretty hit or miss. It can be sublime. It can be torture. We all want to have some choice about which one we get.

If life came with an owner's manual, it would provide step-by-step instructions for being happy and successful and free. Counseling, when it works, is that missing manual. It can teach you:

• How to heal old hurts, master your emotions, and do away with suffering
• How to become capable of things that currently seem daunting or impossible
• How to free your mind and deconstruct your limiting beliefs
• How to forge fulfilling, authentic relationships and create community
• How to become your true self, and contribute to the world in ways only you can
• How to design tailor-made conscious practices in order to live a deliberate life
• How to grow beyond your current stage of development
• How to hack into the processes you use to construct your sense of self, and your model of reality

You know more is possible. You've glimpsed it. But you don't know how to get there on your own. No one does. You may even be on the brink of real change, but need help crossing the threshold. Counseling facilitates those changes. It is a liberation-based relationship.

According to research on the efficacy of therapy, three factors determine whether or not counseling works. Here they are in order of importance:

1. The strength of your relationship with your counselor.
2. Your willingness to be vulnerable, self-reflect, and work for the changes you're seeking.
3. The particular method the counselor uses.

No one can do counseling to you. That's not how this works. A good counselor has some understanding of human nature, knows something about how change happens, and has some experience under their belt. You, however, determine how far it's possible for you to go.

So our counseling relationship will be a collaboration. I'll have high expectations of you, and hope you'll have high expectations of me. Together, we can find our way anywhere you wish to go.

Which of the following did you learn about in school?

1. The world outside yourself:
   science, math, history, geography, literature, art
2. The world inside yourself:
   mastering emotions, human motivational systems, the nature of thought, states of consciousness, perception and the construction of reality, identity and the construction of the self, personal narratives, inner freedom
3. The world of relationships:
   unconditional love, authentic relating, conflict resolution, raising children, community building, belonging, solidarity, power dynamics, support systems

I'm betting most of your classes were about the world outside yourself, and that almost none of them were about your inner world or the domain of human connection. As an adult, you can make up for that lack. All you need to do is ask the question:

We need places to continue learning, about how we work and what we can become. This kind of education can not look like traditional schooling. We need to learn from each other, and we can only do it by creating new kinds of experiences, together.

My trainings, retreats, courses, and workshops are all designed to help you better understand what you are and how you work. Here are some of my greatest hits from the past:

• COUNSELING TRAININGS:
  Interchange Counseling Institute, Couples Counseling 101, Speed Counseling

• PERSONAL GROWTH WORKSHOPS:
  Ending Suffering, Overcoming Anxiety, Healing Body Shame, The Power of Goodbye, Tripping Without Drugs, Mind Yoga

• RELATIONSHIP WORKSHOPS:
  Ending Jealousy Permanently, Deep Dating, Relationship Completion, Relational Yoga Retreat

You are the most important object of study in your life. No matter what other information you amass, no matter what other skills you acquire, until you get a doctorate in your own nature, you are missing some of the most important things in life.

I'm beginning a new era in my work. I have a new course about to launch online, and new workshops in the works. If you don't want to miss them, please get on my workshop list. I promise you'll be hearing from me soon!